Resilience in the Messy Middle of Motherhood: Why Asking for Help Is the Ultimate Superpower

Resiliency.

Such a loaded word, and a common one used in the therapy world.

We talk about our clients being resilient and we get to know what their protective factors are, which promotes a client’s resilience.

We often hear from other adults when describing children after some sort of struggle or hardship, “Good thing children are so resilient!”

So, what is resilience, anyway?

Merriam Webster defines it as:

An ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

When I think about the above definition in the context of motherhood, I immediately think how moms are the most resilient people to exist in the world.

If you are looking to hire a crew of people you know will get the job done, look no further than your local playgrounds and splashpads, for there you will find an entire group of Wonder Women.

Mom strength knows no bounds. When she feels at her wits end and like she can’t go on another moment longer, she always finds a way to muster more mom magic at the cry of her little one.

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily put motherhood in the “misfortune” category, but there certainly are some misfortunate situations that are to be endured along the mom journey (cue postpartum hair loss and regrowth).

Bringing it back to considering what makes my clients resilient, I think of things like:

·  Do they have a support network? Good relationships?

·  Have they withstood any hardships in the past?

·  What coping tools do they have in place? Healthy routines? Etc.

·  Do they have a pessimistic or optimistic lens they see things through?

·  What is their prior mental health history?

All these things matter for everyone, but they become glaringly obvious whether a solid foundation is in place once becoming a mother.

It’s deeply important to consider things such as building a support network and healthy coping tools, but there are also types of resilience that are innate and unique to an individual. And let me tell ya, moms are incredibly resourceful and capable, as I’ve already said, BUT—

I believe the most powerful tool a mother can use to maintain that sense of resiliency is to ask for help.

Because at the end of the day, none of us can do it all, nor are we meant to.

Even Wonder Woman got help from her Amazonian community.

I realize that not everyone has the same kind of support and community that some do, so adjust that to however you can.

For some, that might be paying for a grocery delivery service, so you don’t have to take toddlers into the store. For others, it might be going to therapy.
Maybe it’s hiring a sitter so you and your partner can have a weekly date night.

Bottom line is to get that help in any way that works for you in whichever season of life you’re in - infant, toddler, child, teen, on and on.

As Sabrina Carpenter said, “please, please, please” ask for help wherever you can (or something like that). Because at the end of the day, moms need to be taken care of, too.

I’m Kristin, a social worker at Middle Path Wellness Collective in St. Charles, MO, where I support moms navigating the rollercoaster of parenthood.

As a mom myself, I deeply understand the challenges (and the joys!) that come with raising little ones.

My passion lies in holistic wellbeing, and I love combining my training and personal experience to make the motherhood journey feel a little less scary and lonely. My goal is to help you feel grounded, empowered, and supported every step of the way. With the right tools and guidance, I truly believe every parent can find their way to a more connected and confident place.