Empowering Couples:
Secure Connection Through Therapy
Serving relationships in‑person in
St. Louis & St. Charles and virtually across Missouri
So you’ve decided it’s time for support.
But how do you know what kind of couples therapy will actually help?
Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Different approaches work better for different people, depending on what’s going on in the relationship.
Here’s a simple breakdown to help you understand the difference between two of the most respected models in couples therapy: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
For couples who feel disconnected, stuck in reactive patterns, or emotionally distant.
EFT helps you go beyond surface arguments to explore the deeper emotions underneath.
It’s rooted in attachment theory and is especially effective for couples who:
Feel like they’re walking on eggshells
Get stuck in the same fight over and over
Feel emotionally alone, even when physically together
Have been through grief, trauma, or major life changes
Struggle to feel safe, heard, or understood in the relationship
In EFT, the focus isn’t just on how you communicate, it’s on why you react the way you do.
Together, you’ll learn how to:
Identify and soften reactive cycles
Express vulnerable emotions without fear
Create emotional safety and security
Rebuild trust and deepen connection from the inside out
If you’re interested in this therapy, Marcia Heckman, PLPC practices this theory of couples therapy.
The Gottman Method
For couples who want tools, structure, and clear steps to improve their relationship.
The Gottman Method is based on decades of research and offers practical tools to help couples manage conflict and build emotional intimacy.
It’s often a great fit for couples who:
Want a structured approach with exercises and assignments
Struggle with communication or frequent arguments
Need support after a betrayal or trust rupture
Want to improve friendship and shared meaning
Are looking to “tune-up” a healthy relationship
The Gottman Method focuses on what healthy couples do and helps you do more of that.
You’ll learn things like:
How to start conversations without escalating
How to de-escalate fights and repair more quickly
How to build emotional intimacy through rituals of connection
How to turn toward each other instead of away
If you’re interested in this therapy, Will Palmer, LMSW practices this theory of couples therapy.
Side by Side Comparison
Main goal
Approach
Pace
Best for...
What it feels like
Therapist’s role
Core focus
What They Focus On
Strengthening the emotional bond
Attachment-based and process-oriented
Slower, with emotional depth and processing
Couples feeling disconnected, reactive, or fragile
A safe place to explore vulnerability and repair patterns
Emotional guide focused on the relationship dynamic
Why you hurt and how to repair it emotionally
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Improving relationship habits and reducing conflict
Behavior-based and skill-building
More structured, with tools and exercises
Couples needing tools to manage conflict or rebuild trust
A guided path with clear communication tools
Relationship coach offering strategies and direction
What to do differently—and how to practice it
The Gottman Method
Which One Is Right for You?
There’s no wrong choice, just the right fit for where you are now.
If you feel like you’re fighting all the time, or not at all, but the emotional distance is heavy and confusing, EFT may be your best starting point.
If you’re looking for tools, structure, and clear techniques to improve how you communicate and resolve conflict, the Gottman Method may feel more aligned.
Still unsure? We can help you explore both options and figure out what best fits your relationship’s needs.