Everything Is On Fire. Now What?

The fear of the unknown and unseen.
More importantly, the fear of the unlikely. Anxiety.

From our most primitive state, fear was what kept our ancestors alive. Now we’re here, doomscrolling our way through the 21st century and anxiety has evolved from sabertooth tigers to finances and thinking too long at night about that interaction you had last week with the stranger at the store and they probably thought you were mean or weird or something… 

The thing is, anxiety is the fear of what might happen. So what in the ever-loving-fuck do we do when our fears are happening right in front of us?

Each new day in the world of the sentient circus peanut means we all face a lifetime of repercussions but in the meantime, we’ll toss out Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnoses like an episode of Oprah. 

Sorry Oprah - when your life is actively being threatened, that’s not anxiety.

When your friends and neighbors are being attacked in their homes, that’s not anxiety.
When you see the remains of men, women, and children as a result of a genocide, that’s not fucking anxiety. 

That is real, in your face, fear. 

It's trauma - an ongoing, never ending trauma. 

The jeopardization of our safety is dysregulating and disconnects us from our surroundings. When our sense of security is violated we are left in our most vulnerable state and with that comes isolation. 

This brings us to Now What? Point Number 1: Community
Humans are naturally herd animals, survival depending on our ability to connect with one another. Gathering with loved ones, friends, or like-minded individuals allows for our experiences to be seen and validated. 

As we’ve entered a stage where so many feel helpless, community can also provide a sense of purpose. Within a community, each individual would serve a specific role. 

Community is super cool and all, but let’s be real, making friends and acquaintances as an adult is an unnatural hellscape. Finding community comes in all shapes, sizes, and mediums; but it all starts with you. 

It’s important to identify where you want to drive your efforts. This could be towards a value or shared interest. Whatever it may be, remember that community starts with courage. The courage to share, the courage to connect, and most importantly the courage to be yourself.

Now What? Point Number 2: Action
In a way it can be difficult to talk about community and not address the elephant in the room, activism. The thing is, there’s a belief that it looks and behaves one way and one way only. Demonstrations, posters, megaphones, and large crowds. 

Unfortunately for many of us, this form of activism doesn’t align with our personality, our abilities, or maybe our goals. There is a pressure to be loud and to mobilize but if you can’t, you just can’t…and that’s okay. 

It’s important to consider the many forms that activism can take on and how it best suits you. 

Pop quiz, remember how I said everyone has an individual role in a community? No? Go back and read again. 

Activism functions the same way. If we’re all rip roaring pissed off and loud, that’s great, but who’s going to organize us all? Who’s going to get the word out? Who’s going to share safety resources? You’ll get bored if I keep going. The point is, without different functions, the shit doesn’t function. Taking a moment to evaluate not only how you want to be active but also what’s realistic for you, is an important step in decreasing your anxiety around “doing something.” 

Whatever role you decide, it’s valued and it’s critical to the community you’re part of.

Now What? Point Number 3 (and the point that will piss most of you off): Social Media

Yeah, I know. I’ve now joined the crowd with your parents, unfiltered baby boomers, and every self-help author ever.

Social media is too damn much sometimes. The era of instant gratification has us constantly on the hunt for our next dopamine hit, and most of us find that hit in the form of - doomscrolling. I built my FYP brick by brick, this message is for me too.

You know her. You love her. She’s your distraction. She’s your escape.
But then you see it. The video or photo that stops your scrolling in its tracks. Violence, Hate, Racism, Genocide. What we witness via social media has exposed us all to secondary trauma.

Over time, this level of exposure can desensitize us to grotesque acts of violence. 

Social media, your phone, all of it -  can live without you. It will persist without you. Each day you decide how much you want to give to your phone, to the news, to the endless cycle. Tomorrow could be different. 

For you this may look like setting aside intentional time to read news articles from trusted sites.  It could look like placing your phone on dnd (do not disturb) for periods of time throughout the day. 

I think it’s also worth mentioning that setting healthy boundaries with how much time you spend with the media does not equate to being deliberately misinformed. 

I would be remiss to not address the immense privilege it is to take intentional time for oneself, to have a strong sense of community, or to feel safe enough to advocate for one's beliefs. There is no right or wrong way to exist at this point, just the way you decide. What’s happening around us isn’t normal. Your anxieties, fears, and everything in between are normal reactions to abnormal happenings. Allow yourself time. Allow yourself grace.

Authored by Sarah Rinker, PLPC
Under the supervision of Leslie Wiss, LPC License #2010017636

Hi, I’m Sarah. I open my doors to clients from all walks of life, but I do offer areas of expertise for those in need of specialized care. These areas include those experiencing grief relating to parent loss, hospice and long term care, and adult children of alcoholics. Additional areas include, career strategizing, couples care, pre-martial counseling, and LGBTQIA support.

I’m a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Missouri. I’m able to see clients in person and virtually within the state of Missouri.