Tips for a Summer with Your Teen That’s More Connection, Less Conflict

From a Therapist Who Works with Teens and Knows It Can Be Tricky

Summer doesn’t have to turn into a power struggle. It can actually be a great time to reset, reconnect, and make memories with your teen—even if they act like they’d rather do anything but hang out with you (they secretly still want that connection… just on their terms).

Here are some real-life, doable ways to enjoy summer with your teen—with a little less conflict and a lot more connection:

Keep a Bit of Routine

Teens love flexibility and knowing what to expect. They don’t need a strict schedule, but having some consistency—like regular wake-up times, meals, and responsibilities—can help keep moods steady and boredom in check.

Let Them Weigh In
Give them some say in how summer goes—what to do, when to chill, and what chores need doing. When teens feel like their voice matters, they’re less likely to push back just for the sake of control.

Make Space for Low-Key Time Together
Connection doesn’t have to be a big deal. Invite them to grab a snack, walk the dog, watch a show, or run errands. Teens often open up when there’s no pressure to “have a talk.”

Set Expectations Before the Drama Hits
It’s way easier to agree on things like screen time, chores, and curfews before anyone’s frustrated. Talk about boundaries early on, and include them in the process. If they help make the rules, they’re more likely to respect them.

Pick Your Battles
Not everything needs to be a fight. If their outfit’s wild or their room’s a mess—but no one’s getting hurt—it might be worth letting it go.

Own Your Mistakes
Teens can spot adult hypocrisy from a mile away. It means a lot when you admit you messed up. It builds trust and shows them that it’s okay to be imperfect, too.

Be Curious, Not Critical
Ask what they’re into these days—even if it makes zero sense to you. Listen without jumping in with advice. When teens feel seen (not judged), they’re way more likely to open up later when it really matters.

Remember: They’re Still Learning
They might look like mini adults, but they still need support, patience, and guidance. Summer is a great time to help them stretch their independence—with a safety net close by.

Ditch the Idea of a “Perfect” Summer
There will be eye rolls. Some days will be frustrating. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. Focus on connection, and the good stuff will stick.

At the end of the day, summer is a chance to reconnect and support your teen’s growth. A little structure, a lot of empathy, and some low-pressure time together can make a big difference.

Hello! I'm Darcie, the owner of Verdant Therapy, LLC.

My day job is working in the schools. In the evenings I see young adults in a private practice setting. I’m passionate about helping young adults embrace their independence and discover their unique selves. My approach centers on helping them develop essential coping skills, express themselves authentically, and grow from their unique life experiences.