Leaving a high-control religion is not simply about walking away from a place of worship — it can be a deeply disorienting, life-altering experience.

For many, the decision to step away comes after years of inner conflict, emotional pain, and a growing awareness that their personal values no longer align with the teachings they were raised with.

Yet even after leaving, the impact doesn’t just fade away.

Understanding Religious Trauma

Religious trauma happens when someone’s experiences with religion — especially in very strict or controlling groups — cause ongoing emotional, mental, spiritual or even physical pain. This can come from strict rules, fear, shaming, or controlling what you believe and how you live your life.

The effects can be similar to other kinds of long-term trauma, like abuse. People who experience religious trauma may feel anxious, depressed, ashamed or like they can’t trust themselves. They might feel on edge all the time or like life doesn’t have much meaning.

Religious trauma doesn’t just live in your thoughts — it lives in your body.

Living in a constant state of fear keeps your body on high alert, triggering natural survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or people-pleasing. Over time, this can make it hard to feel safe, calm, or connected to others.

Some approaches to healing trauma focus on the body first, rather than just the mind. Methods like body-based therapy (somatic therapy), working with different internal parts of yourself (IFS parts work), or specialized EMDR techniques help your nervous system relearn what safety feels like. Healing isn’t just about changing your thoughts — it’s about helping your body feel secure again.

The Hidden Losses of Leaving a High-Control Religion

In addition to the emotional and mental effects of trauma, many people leaving strict, controlling religions experience what’s called “secondary loss” — the ripple effects of losing not just their faith, but also their community sense of identity, and what they thought was their moral compass and the guidelines they lived their life by.

You might notice things like:

• Isolation — Losing friends or family who stay in the religion.

• Loss of structure — No longer having clear rules for how to live, which can feel both freeing and scary.

• Identity confusion — Struggling to know who you are without the beliefs that once defined you.

• Fear of the unknown — Worrying about your future without the safety net of religious certainty.

These challenges can feel even harder because many people outside strict religions don’t fully understand the depth of these losses, making it tough to find safe, judgment-free spaces to heal.

Why Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a space where you are seen, heard, and understood without judgment.

It’s a place where your story matters, your pain is validated, and your healing is prioritized.

With the right therapeutic support, people recovering from religious trauma can:

• Rebuild trust in themselves and their inner wisdom.

• Reduce anxiety, shame, and hyper-vigilance.

• Develop self-compassion and healthy boundaries.

• Create new relationships that are supportive, authentic, and mutually respectful.

• Discover a personal sense of meaning and purpose — one that reflects who they truly are.

Why Work with Rebecca?

Rebecca specializes in working with young adults in Missouri who are navigating the complex process of leaving high-control religions and reclaiming their lives. Her work is informed not only by professional training but also by lived experience — she, too, has walked this path.

Here’s what makes Rebecca’s approach unique:

• Lived Experience and Deep Understanding
  Rebecca understand the nuances of religious trauma because she’s experienced them firsthand. This personal insight allows her to offer empathy that’s not just theoretical — it’s grounded in reality.

• Trauma-Informed Expertise
  As a Social Worker with advanced training in trauma-informed care, CPTSD, and modalities like parts work and somatic experiencing, Rebecca tailors therapy to meet the needs of clients whose trauma affects both mind and body. She is trained in EMDR, a technique that helps the brain process difficult or painful memories.

• A Bottom-Up Approach to Healing
  Rebecca’s therapeutic methods focus on calming the nervous system first, so that clients can feel safe enough to engage in deeper emotional work. This often accelerates progress and reduces the risk of overwhelm.

• Values Alignment
  Rebecca shares and respects the values of authenticity, integrity and kindness — values that many clients find essential after leaving religious systems that prioritized conformity over individuality.
  

The Positive Impact of Our Work Together

Imagine this:
You wake up in the morning feeling grounded in your body, comfortable in your own skin. You know your likes, dislikes, and personal values — and you make decisions that reflect them. Your relationships are supportive and affirming. You feel confident navigating life without the constant voice of fear or shame from your past religion.

Therapy won’t erase the past, but it can help you transform it. The pain you’ve experienced can become the foundation for a deeply authentic and purposeful life — one that you define on your own terms.

Taking the First Step

If you’re ready to explore therapy for religious trauma, know this: you are not alone, and what happened to you matters. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it in isolation.

Does any of this sound familiar?

• You’re at a family dinner, and your mom makes a comment about “praying for you.” Everyone laughs lightly, but you shrink inside, feeling both angry and guilty for pulling away.

• You’re on a date, and when they ask about your background, your chest tightens because you don’t know how to explain your past without sounding “too much.”

• You watch your siblings post about church milestones online, and you wonder if they think you’re “lost” — part of you even wonders if they’re right.

• In friendships, you catch yourself holding back, afraid of rejection if people knew the whole story.

• Even with a partner who’s supportive, you sometimes feel distant, because trust feels like a foreign language you’re only just learning.

Imagine this:

• Sitting at brunch with a new friend who doesn’t flinch when you share your past — instead, they nod with compassion and lean in closer.

• Celebrating a holiday without guilt, choosing your own traditions with people you actually feel safe around.

• Imagine saying “I don’t agree with that” in a conversation, and instead of shame flooding your body, you feel calm, confident, and steady in your voice.

• Or going on a date where you laugh freely and talk about what you like — not just what you used to be told was “acceptable.”

If you’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t seem to help, that’s completely understandable. Maybe you were told to “just forgive” or “just move on,” advice that left you feeling even more misunderstood.

Rebecca’s approach is different. She’ll teach you to work with your body as much as your mind, helping your nervous system finally feel what safety is like — so healing can actually stick.

You might be wondering…

“What if this doesn’t work for me?”

Here’s what I can tell you:

Healing is not about forcing change; it’s about creating the safety and support
your mind and body need to let change happen naturally.

Even if other therapy experiences haven’t helped before, this work can feel different.

This is for you if you’re tired of being trapped in shame spirals, afraid to trust yourself, and unsure how to relate to people outside the old rules.

And this might not be for you if you’re looking for a quick fix or aren’t ready to sit with some discomfort in order to grow. This work isn’t quick or easy, but it’s deeply transformative.

Imagine if, six months from now, you’re still saying yes when you want to say no, still rehearsing every conversation with family in your head, still pushing people away because trusting feels impossible.

Or imagine what life could look like if you started this journey today — a version of you who speaks freely, builds relationships that feel authentic, and finally feels at home in your own skin.

That version of you is begging you not to wait.
You don’t have to keep suffering.